Friday, 30 October 2009

A reminder to myself

Today is a good day to remember, as close it gets to compensate all the possibilities that I missed to see Michael perform live. I believe many of us that walk out of the cinema after a glimpse of what would possibly be the greatest performance, different thoughts run wild through our mind. I think everybody have a different expectation from this movie. It's human nature. All I wanted was to have a moment where everything around me was surrounded with love for this great man and I felt that today. I have expected that from all the high of my emotion there will also times where it goes as low as it could possibly get. Its hard to hear the negative comments but I guess we could never stop negativity. How far is all this to the truth, we might not know, probably never ever find out. Like Michael quoted in his biography; Moonwalk, "Have the truth gone out of fashion" We expect so much from a man and some may wonder whether he could step up to all the barrier he made and then broke but like Navi said, "Michael doesn't have to beat himself, he just need to be himself".

But it's good, it's all good...It's all love

As for me, it's pretty much a closure for me. In the afternoon I when to Michael Jackson Exhibition which I really enjoy very much. It gave me so much excitement and mix emotion to see some of his personal belonging, concerts costumes displayed, replica of Neverland Ranch Arch right infront of my eyes and I was are merely a few feet away. It was emotional. I couldn't help myself going , "Oh my god, that the jacket that he wore in opening of Dangerous tour in Bucharest and "Oh my god, that the famous one white sequin glove from Billie Jean, and "The fedora from Smooth Criminal" and there were a lot of OH MY GOD going on one after another....The best was the privilege to be able to see some of his costume for "This is it" concert. I didn't wanted it to end but I am must more excited going to watch the movie next. I am proud of myself not to cry although at the beginning I was trying to keep all my emotion and as I see the footage, there is a rush running through every inch of my body and I was near to tears. Everything seems surreal and nothing around you seems to exist. Every scene in the movie was celebrated with a round of applause from the audience, it's almost seems every single one of us was sitting there watching Michael on stage performing. It's great to see all the love for this man who we never knew. It show how little thing, or a person could do and move someone else and could be a such a impact on another person life.


I think it was great. I still have flashes of the scene in my head. Sometime you just need to believe what you believe in. It's something I think we owe ourself to do, its to believe in something cause when you don't, I don't see what is life meant for. Personally I admire his passion towards his work. The way you hear and see how he bring his work to life is mesmerizing and it inspire you as well. The look in those eyes when he speaks of his love in music, dance, children and life. They way he sing and dance is like making art. Yes, he does seems fragile, which at some point was painful to watch but despite that he is 50 and out there still living his dream that is one thing to learn. I think take the positive and trash the negativity. I don't know much, what is truth and what is not. But I believe that he is passionate about his work and to be back and doing what he love which he dedicated his entire life must be a great joy and to see how humble and appreciative he is just amazing. Some speculation say that its probably been precisely edited so that he might seems at his best take in his performance and physically. But a man at his age, that been working so hard his entire life and as well dealing with the mass speculation, tabloid, stress and expectation I think he did better than great. I guess we sometime forget that he is also human and like any of us we have better days and some bad one, but I hope that he has more of those better days than the not so good one.


I think it is very well choreographed, and I think he has broken his own stage performance by having fresh new idea into his routine. Love the fresh take from The Way You Make Me Feel and filmed sequences for Thriller, Heal The World and Smooth Criminal. The many highlight for me was Michael breaking little jokes, that is so heartwarming and lighthearted to see that as it seems that his life was falling apart infront of our eyes and that he was back and doing what he loves. This movie is a little view of an artist, entertainer, a father, a man that share his gift with the world and knowing that beyond being the greatest entertainer that build barrier and broke them, a talented and gifted artist, that moved the entertainment industry and inspire people around the world in different ways, that there was also another side of Michael Jackson that people simply forgot. From time to time, I played Michael's song and music video in my mind while I work in the kitchen chopping the entire day or polishing so many glasses till I loose my mind. It keeps me going on the simplest day like these. Its incredible that how iconic he is.


I stood there and see people queuing up to pen down their feeling and words to Michael. Its really a heartwarming sight to see a man who we would judge by his appearance to be too cool to show any emotion, on the ground dedicated his heart out on a full page...I could see he was struggling to find word to express due to the different language but that didn't stop him and what he wrote might simple but you could feel that he genuinely feel what he meant. I really meant it when I wrote at the exhibition that Michael make me want to be a better person and I hope I will. I have always been a perfectionist and I just simply don't know how to give up. I don't like to talk must about myself nor show my work, its because I always think its not good enough. If it is not good enough I would never show it. I believe that we need to patient, when you build something, paint something, or even cook something you need a lot of hard work, time, and effort. You need to simmer over a stove not chuck them in pressure cooker and hope it turn up the way you want to. The reason why I am so emotionally attach about Michael because I see many things that we believe in are very similar and is hard to wrap my mind around his leaving. This might sound very bizarre but I don't really much care about what people think. This is what I feel and I am putting it on the plate whether you like it or not.


One might think, this girl is going nuts. I am not going to apologize for it. I want to say and express myself so I one day in my life I could look back and see how that one day or that one fine man taught me how to believe again, especially in myself. How he inspire me to be a better person and to be the best that I could possibly be an never stop believing and strive for the great and at the same time cherish the little things in life. This is one of the days that I need in this time of my life.


There are something in life that can't be measure and this is one of it.

Monday, 26 October 2009

28th Oct 2009, 2 more days
The wait is coming to an end...
I can't wait, it's driving me crazy

Saturday, 3 October 2009

Ramdomness

It's gonna be a very long dreadful busy week next week....
I am out of my mind and body already.....

and by the way.....

Diversity made Michael Jackson proud.
Awesome performance at MOBO 2009 Awards

Wicked!!

Friday, 2 October 2009

Its A Thriller Night

Thriller is absolutely trilling
The hits just keeps coming, the crowd jamming to the beat.
I wish it would just go on and on and on....and on
Till I get enough which is most likely never ever
An awesome night out!!
MJ Rocks!!!

Monday, 28 September 2009

It was a good day

Yesterday was a good day

I bought my "This Is It" movie ticket for the first night Oct 28th.
Started of the day with getting my ticket, I was the first to buy it at O2 Vue...Can't explain the joy holding the piece of paper. Overjoy...1 more month...can't wait.
The lady was nice enough to let me have the honour to poke through her machine and choose the time I wanted...

I know I said I am not ready...still am not...never will be fully ready to accept it but I can't help it to see the master, creating his art. It's like watching a magic show...Oh boy I can't wait. I bet other than being mesmerized I would be crying like hell. Well it's all worth it. Got to do this alone because I need to put all the sorrow at ease....

As I was looking at books at a charity shop and a book caught my eye. Roald Dahl short stories compile in a hard cover, about 300 pages with fully illustrated images I got to have it, I don't care how am I gonna send all my books home but I got to have it. What a catch, It was only 4.99 pound. I took a long bus ride and I am gonna miss London so much

The day ended with me talking to my 3 favourite people, a soul mate, a Siamese twin and an itch in my ass. I was so energetic, that I could wrestle a grizzly bear so I spend the rest of the night watching West Side Story and a little tune from Michael Jackson....It was indeed a good day!!!

A friend I knew here told me that this year Oct is a new beginning of a new cycle and things will start to change and in our life we change every 5 years cycle. I hope mine is around the corner cause I am waiting for changes. I can't stand to be in a same cycle all the time, it kills me

Did I mention it is autumn now
I love autumn

Saturday, 26 September 2009

I wish...


I am overwhelm by the the clouds shapeless form
Moulding itself to the eyes of its beholder
Creating room for a neverending imagination
As you lay down overlooking the skyline
A great canvas that kept your creativity running wild
I am overwhelm by the rhythm of the clouds
So weightless and carefree it glides
Strolling over the unending skyline gracefully
Overseeing the world from above

I am overwhelm by the clouds changing form
Wind blew hard leaving clouds scattered
And amazingly gathered itself up

I am overwhelm by the clouds changing mood
How its always seems so calm
Could shower down in a toss of a penny

I am overwhelm by the clouds appearance
So light, gentle and fragile as candyfloss
But yet so strong shading the world from the harsh sun
I am overwhelm...

I wish I could be like cloud

Tuesday, 15 September 2009

What would have been

"This Is It" trailer is out, but all I want to do is cry
It's truly magical...everything you would expect and better. ..
This makes me wonder what would have been if MJ is still with us.
I am lost of words again, all the time lately....

And goodbye Patrick Swayze...

What would have Dirty Dancing be without you?
I hate 2009 already...