It was a good day

Yesterday was a good day

I bought my "This Is It" movie ticket for the first night Oct 28th.
Started of the day with getting my ticket, I was the first to buy it at O2 Vue...Can't explain the joy holding the piece of paper. Overjoy...1 more month...can't wait.
The lady was nice enough to let me have the honour to poke through her machine and choose the time I wanted...

I know I said I am not ready...still am not...never will be fully ready to accept it but I can't help it to see the master, creating his art. It's like watching a magic show...Oh boy I can't wait. I bet other than being mesmerized I would be crying like hell. Well it's all worth it. Got to do this alone because I need to put all the sorrow at ease....

As I was looking at books at a charity shop and a book caught my eye. Roald Dahl short stories compile in a hard cover, about 300 pages with fully illustrated images I got to have it, I don't care how am I gonna send all my books home but I got to have it. What a catch, It was only 4.99 pound. I took a long bus ride and I am gonna miss London so much

The day ended with me talking to my 3 favourite people, a soul mate, a Siamese twin and an itch in my ass. I was so energetic, that I could wrestle a grizzly bear so I spend the rest of the night watching West Side Story and a little tune from Michael Jackson....It was indeed a good day!!!

A friend I knew here told me that this year Oct is a new beginning of a new cycle and things will start to change and in our life we change every 5 years cycle. I hope mine is around the corner cause I am waiting for changes. I can't stand to be in a same cycle all the time, it kills me

Did I mention it is autumn now
I love autumn

I wish...

I am overwhelm by the the clouds shapeless form

Moulding itself to the eyes of its beholder
Creating room for a neverending imagination
As you lay down overlooking the skyline
A great canvas that kept your creativity running wild

I am overwhelm by the rhythm of the clouds

So weightless and carefree it glides
Strolling over the unending skyline gracefully
Overseeing the world from above

I am overwhelm by the clouds changing form
Wind blew hard leaving clouds scattered
And amazingly gathered itself up

I am overwhelm by the clouds changing mood
How its always seems so calm
Could shower down in a toss of a penny

I am overwhelm by the clouds appearance
So light, gentle and fragile as candyfloss
But yet so strong shading the world from the harsh sun
I am overwhelm...

I wish I could be like cloud

What would have been

"This Is It" trailer is out, but all I want to do is cry
It's truly magical...everything you would expect and better. ..
This makes me wonder what would have been if MJ is still with us.
I am lost of words again, all the time lately....

And goodbye Patrick Swayze...
What would have Dirty Dancing be without you?
I hate 2009 already...

Untitled

All I could think of was WHY? WHY? WHY?
Those are the times where you loss all words
Today, eight years later I still could not find words to describe
It still feels like yesterday as the world watch helplessly
As it came crumbling down, and that moment everything change
The air was just filled with so much grieve, anger and confusion
Those are the time where you don't know what to feel

I still wonder what happen on that day
How could there be so much hatred in a person to began with?
I still wonder what happen on that day
Where did people find love, courage and the will to fight through it?
I still wonder what happen on that day
What that seems to have torn us apart, brought us together

What breaks us makes us stronger...

In memory to those who lost their life in 9/11 attack
And for those who are still fighting for peace

God Bless

Roar!!

Squealin in boredom
Running my nails through the wall bored...
Not working drives me into insanity
I need to work....

29.08.09

Through all the joy and sorrow, laughter and tears, your music touches our heart. We gather together today united as one. Stranger to stranger, and hand in hand we held, we were one voice, one heart, to celebrate your life, an incredible human being. Shoulder to shoulder we lean on, stories we share and embraces we exchange, and all of this was possible because of you. We came today as strangers and left as brothers and sisters. This is not it! You will always live forever through your music and dance, because every move and every note you sang, you gave all your heart and soul.

Michael, thank you for all the years of great music and dance. Most of all thank you for being simply who you are. We couldn't thank you enough for all you have given us, thank you for sharing your life, your gift and now is our turn to give back, and all we have is love, unconditional love.. So don't you ever doubt even for a minute that you are not loved. We love you and just can't stop loving you.

" If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with".

Ooohh boy!! The way you make us feel is magical ....

We know whenever, wherever there is love, you'll be there.
We look up to heaven today and sang our love and heart to you.
I hope you look down on us today and this will put a big smile on your face, joy in your heart.

"You give me butterflies inside, inside, and all I gotta say is that I must be dreaming, can't be real You're not here with me, still I can feel you near me." ~ Butterflies (Invincible)

As we are paying our tribute to you, all your fans around the world are celebrating your life in different ways. There is no time in history of entertainment that on a day, there would be so much unity and love being brought out. This is the day!!. Even today itself is a record breaking day. The amount of love could touch God heart and hopefully yours too. You've broken records, one after another and making history. Even thou you have now gone to a better place, but your legacy and history will not end here. Today or any given day, your fans are out there setting new records with your music and dance on your behalf. You alone have made history and we are here to continue your legacy and in the hoping of making the world a better place.

Happy Birthday Mike
(1958 - Forever)
"Born To Amuse, To Inspire, To Delight, Here One Day Gone One Night. Gone Too Soon"

We miss you.
We love you the most!!

Rock on!!

Never Can Say Goodbye

It's been months and here I am still talking about Michael Jackson. It was too hard to write about any of it then and not any easier now. I wouldn't say that I am a die hard fan, but never a day I was not a fan of Michael Jackson

As far as I could remember, I was probably 8 when I first saw Black or White music video on TV and I was blown away. I have never see anything like that during those days and I couldn't help it to love the man behind all this. I remember constantly singing it without really knowing the meaning behind the song... it was contagious. One after another. As I grew older and (fatter and fatter....sob) I found a different depth in his music, slowly understanding the message behind his songs. Michael have been a inspiration to many people in different ways, especially dancers. But for me who can't sing Do Re Mi without getting myself out of key and who does not have rhythm what-so-ever and try to imitate him dancing to Thriller, Beat it or doing his famous "hiccup" when he sings which I fail miserably. It is really hilariously embarrassing.What was I thinking trying to moonwalk when I couldn't even walk without tripping. I didn't like Michael the way I was crazy with Backstreet Boys or Nsync

Either did I have Michael's picture all over my wall and stay drooling over it (like what I did with Kevin Richardson...still drooling thou till today. I am embarrass to admit but its true)

As we are fighting whether BSB is better or Nsync, It was different with Michael Jackson, who can I compare him to? Nobody. He is "the" Michael Jackson. He has such petite physique but yet every move and note he sang seems to be bursting with so much energy. I felt in love with the music and over the years I grew more curious about this man who wrote, sang and dance to those songs. There are many music that comes and goes but for me Michael's songs stay the same the way the very first time you listen to it and it remain the same forever. I was then young and penniless I pledge upon "MY" Dangerous cassette that the only concert that I will only want to be at is his (The cassette which was not even mine, it was someone in my family which I definitely have no problem making it my own.) How much do I know about anything at that ages but I seems to know what I was talking about when I say that Michael Jackson has to be the Greatest. I remember constantly listening it on my old cassette player (wow that show how long ago was that) and everytime I listen to it I was so afraid that somehow it will get stuck in the player.

People been asking which is my favourite Michael's song, How do I choose, its quite impossible, its probably easier to choose the one that I am not too crazy about. I wouldn't say that I love every single song but to make a list will probably be too long. If I would have to choose, then my favourite song will be a little different from most of the people, which is They Don't Really Care About Us. It's one of his most controversial piece. I could still recall the feeling the very first time I heard and saw it on TV, I was speechless. This is it! This is the song and still is. Everytime I listen to his songs, somehow I found a little rhythm, bizarre isn't it? Every album comes with a new style, my favourite have to be nothing fancy, an open, loose-fitting white shirt and black pants, long hair which is always half tie up. It still gives me goosebumps when I see him move, like poetry in motion..There is so many dance moves that he have that not much talked about that I awkwardly find very interesting. One example is a move he did in You rock my world, the one before he walks down the stair with a stiff forward walk and then moving on with the move that seems like he have a broken back...You will know what I am saying if you seen it. There you go again. I am strange!!!

Dangerous was my favourite album, still is. After many years of hits after hits that was all great, then came Ghost(s). I admit I didn't really like the music video, it look a lot like a montage of different unfinished piece. That was before I saw the short movie, It's mind blowing! Totally blown away. It shot me all the way into the orbit. My recent "song for the soul" would be Stranger in Moscow, from the History album. A hauntingly touching song. A piece that is very close to my heart. Recently, I realise how much I wasn't aware of the album, Invincible. It has really good pieces, the challenging falsetto of Butterflies, the touching The Lost Children and ballads like, Speechless, Don't Walk Away and You are my life.

He did not have a record for the next few years and then out of nowhere he resurface with a repeated nightmare with charges and a long trial. I did not pay any attention to the process nor any of the controversy about him throughout the years and wasn't going to. I was never a believer of all the charges, but I do believe that he has problems (who doesn't), and he might sometime make bizarre choices (I do) and view him as strange (strange? I am too). We are brought up to be "normal" and I this are the commonality of people that drives me up the wall. Who isn't? , if you are ready to admit it. I believe somewhere along the way we all question some of his decision and changes, I admit I did. But even then all I could think was, damn he is good and found him kinda really sexy. Especially in the music video In the closet!!!. Yea go ahead and say it. I am weird!!! Why don't call me Wacko too!!; (Is that scary for you? Am I too scary for you, baby).

I used to say I have no regret in life and now my first one is that I never seen Michael on stage. The burting energy on stage when he performance is so memerazising. I would probably faint too if was there. I remember his History Tour in Malaysia in 1996. I really wanted to go badly, I hardly have money to get a ticket. After year here I am in London and was even working in O2 Arena and here Michael was gonna have his last concert. I didn't able to get the tickets but I was happy that he finally is back and this could be a comeback. But who would have guess, that was the nearest I could get. A regret I carry for the rest of my life.

I am devastated. Its so sad that we have to loose him at such a young age. It felt like he still have so much to give and maybe for once he could have a new beginning. I was in denial long enough even the news was all over the place, until the memorial, it hit me. This was no dream, but it seems so surreal, even till today. After 2 months, I was still on Youtube looking at his music video interview, home video, behind the scenes, updates and then came across a news with the newscaster saying, "The King of Pop Has Die", I took off my earphone and threw it across the room even before she could finish that sentence. After 10 seconds I was thinking to myself "WOW what the hell just got into me!!!! Oh boy I am nuts!" But nothing more devastating than have to read and hear jokes about him just days after he left. I just want to say. Have some respect for Christsake!!!!. I believe he is in heaven united with James Brown, Fred Astaire, Jackie Wilson and Elvis Presley making heavenly music, moonwalking in clouds and having a good laugh with Mr Charlie Chaplin.

I am gonna miss all the possibilities and magic that he might be able to do with his music, his passion and compassion towards his work and the less fortunate. I admire his childlike spirit and as many think that is bizarre, I personally think its something we took for granted. To be childlike not childish. As far as I know there will never be another Michael Jackson. His music is something that I would like to share with my children in the future. Songs are a medium that is very close to the heart and I know Michael's music is close to mine. I been listening to his music everyday now from Jackson 5 to his very last. Doesn't matter if is the sultry of Rock With You, the classic ABC & Blame It On the Boogie, a song about a friend rat, Ben, the song that broke racial barrier, Black or White, the controversial of They Don't Really Care About Us, the ever sexy, In the Closet, then the very personal, Childhood, the beautiful, Liberian Girl , a collaboration, Say Say Say

or the song pledge for a change Man in the Mirror, pretty disturbing of Little Susie to the greatest music video of all time, Thriller; they are all effortless and been played around the world regardless the different races, status and as the world continue turning, his music will live on.

I recently finish reading a 665 pages biography of Michael Jackson; The magic & The madness by J. Randy Taraborrelli. It might be the most honest and the least bias one out there in the market. Its a long read but I could not stop. It's a very good read, it took me on a rollercoaster ride, I could not have any more variation of mix emotion reading a book!. But I would really like to have read more on his inspiration behind his music. I heard, the final footage of Michael's final days will be on screen this Oct, I know many would give everything to be able to have a glimpse of it, personally I think its like rubbing salt on open wounds. Many are still hanging on, I know I am, I couldn't help it to cry from time to time listening to Gone Too Soon, Childhood and Smile. I don't think I am ready yet, neither is the rest of the world. I really do hope as well that Neverland will not be another Graceland. But somehow I doubt it.

- Never Can Say Goodbye -

Thank You MIKE